7 Lessons I Learned from a Gypsy

I don’t know much about actual gypsies, but in my mind, they’re mysterious travelers with a thirst for adventure and a bit of magic about them.

Not many people in today’s world inspire thoughts of magic and wonder. In fact, I only know one, and I stole her from another family. She has passed away since the original writing of this blog post. It’s a tribute to her that I’m republishing it on my new site in her honor.

I’m talking about my Grams. Well, someone else’s Grams actually. I met her in a previous relationship. When that relationship ended I was unable to let her go. I’d grown too attached. She’s been my Grams ever since.

She was (is) my children’s great-grandmother. They always called her “Grandma Nonna” and she told them fairies are real.

She was one of those people you wanted to go visit. I’d visit as often as I could. I remember one time she said to me, “Don’t you want to be hanging out with people your age instead of me?” And I said, “Nope. There is no one else I’d rather spend my time with.” And I meant it.

She wasn’t just some old lady. She was wise, funny, smart, and had a sense of wonder about her, magic. Something about her would strengthen you. This tiny little woman would fill you with strength from her presence alone. I’d go see her when my soul was tired, when it felt empty. And by the time I left, I was full. Like magic, I’d be renewed.

She could hold space for you and make you feel seen. You always felt like she “got” you. Being understood by someone is the greatest feeling. And she would make you feel that way. Like she got it, and not only that, it was okay. No matter what you had said or done, whatever mess you’d created in your life, it was okay. She made you feel accepted and helped you accept yourself.

I learned a few things in the years I was blessed enough to know her. Just a bit of her wisdom that spilled out onto me. And I’d like to share some of that with you today.

Be Thankful When Things Go Wrong

This might be the part where you’re tempted to stop reading. Don’t. This is something you can do. It just takes a bit of perspective and practice.

Sometimes the universe tries to reach you. It’s not as loud as the representatives trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty, so it might be a little harder to hear. But the universe sends you messages. Messages that tell you what’s right or wrong for you, where to go, what to do. The messages are subtle though. So they’re easy to miss.

Or, perhaps, you don’t want to hear the message. You love this man. You don’t want to hear that he’s not the one. You’re scared to leave that job. You don’t want to know that it’s time.

That’s when the universe has to get a little louder. And that’s when everything seems to go wrong. If you could zoom out, you’d see that life is just trying to redirect you.

It’s hard to let go and trust the path. To trust that things are going wrong for a reason. Sometimes you have to tear the whole house down and build a new one. It’s a lot of work, but the new house is always much better than the old one.

If you take a minute and look back at the years of your life, you’ll probably see a lot of things that went “wrong” that led to wonderful things. You can see that you wouldn’t be where you are, with the strength you have, had things not gone wrong.

You might not have met your current partner, or got that even better job, or found your way into a much better and happier place that you are now. All because things went wrong.

That’s what Grams taught me. To look for the lesson. What is the universe trying to show me? And to be thankful even in the hard times. The hard times never last forever. And they always lead to somewhere better.

So be thankful for all the times things didn’t go according to plan. Often there’s a better plan that you can’t see yet.

Don’t Cuddle Cockroaches

I’d like to ask you a question, who seems stronger, the angry person that is holding everyone else accountable for the wrongs they did, or the person that has forgiven it all and moved on with their lives?

In the stories, the strong person is the one holding the line, and standing up and saying “this was wrong”. And don’t get me wrong, that takes incredible strength. But after you’ve said it, it’s not up to you how the person that did it will feel. You can’t make anyone see that what they did was wrong. You can only control you.

Is the strong person the one that clutches old grudges? Holding onto anger is easy. The real strength happens in moving forward in your life no matter what wrong has been done to you.

What happened happened, and nothing you say or do will change it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a beautiful life. But you can’t do that if you’re holding onto all the things that were done to you, if you’re cuddling the cockroaches.

The people who did it might never understand. They might never be sorry. You don’t need them to be. The strength is in saying “That won’t stop me.” That’s where the strength is.

I had a hard time letting go, moving on. I thought I was broken, damaged goods. And I thought to move on meant saying it was okay what happened to me. It wasn’t okay.

But staying mad at people takes a lot of energy, and it doesn’t make your life any better. When I finally let it go and started to move forward, I was free. The anger was keeping me in pain.

So let go of the cockroaches. They aren’t making your life better. They aren’t a real shield that protects you. That shield is blocking the good stuff. So let it go and enjoy your life.

Be a Crybaby

Cry. Let it all out.

When life gets tough, you’re allowed to feel it. Take all that pain and sadness and sit in it. Not only are you allowed to feel it, but I think it’s the best way to heal.

You can’t pretend it away. You have to face it head-on. Just like letting go of those cockroaches, first you might have to look them in their beady little eyes.

Once you’ve really had a good cry, sat with your pain, and really felt all of it, then you put on your big girl panties and you move forward.

You’re not strong for holding the tears back, you’re strong for crying, for allowing yourself to feel how you feel. It doesn’t matter who sees you cry. What matters is that you’re not trying to pretend you’re fine. You’re not trying to push all the feelings down.

Find yourself a Grams and cry with them. Someone who can hold space for you, someone who lets you cry and doesn’t make you feel judged for it. We are all humans with human emotions. And we all need a good cry once in a while.

If It’s Dark… Turn on a Light

Just because times are tough doesn’t mean you can’t open a curtain and let the light in.

Sometimes we think when we’re going through something, when we lose someone or times are hard, that means we have to commit ourselves fully to being miserable. But that sounds awful doesn’t it?

Who says you can’t find moments of happiness within the sadness?

Both of my parents have passed away, and both times that was very sad. We had moments of deep sorrow, breaking down sobbing. But there were other moments when we would crack a joke at something they used to say or do and we’d all laugh until our stomachs hurt.

That’s real life. In real life you aren’t all in or all out. You don’t have to stop smiling to prove you loved someone. That loved one would want you to smile when you could, to find joy in the cracks of the grief. Feelings move and change, and you move and change with them. Allow yourself moments of light during the dark times.

You’re more in control of that than you think. It all comes down to allowing yourself to feel how you feel when you’re feeling it. It’s really that simple.

Put Yourself in Time-Out

We’re in a constant state of distraction. This is something we talk about more and more as technology grows. We’re always on our devices, texting, scrolling, playing games. We never just sit with ourselves anymore.

Because we don’t do it anymore, some people find it terrifying. It’s kind of funny to think people out there are scared of themselves, but it’s true. If the universe has been trying to reach you about your extended car warranty, and you’ve been trying to avoid that message, it can be scary to have no choice but to confront it.

For example, let’s say you’re unhappy with your life. But dealing with that truth feels like a lot. So, instead you try to ignore that you’re unhappy. You tell yourself everything is fine, you have a great life, you should be more thankful for what you have, etc. And then the power goes out and you’re trapped in an elevator alone. You have nothing to do but think.

Suddenly all those thoughts are back, and this time there’s nothing to distract you from them. You’re faced with all the fears that come with that truth. You have to do something different to change your life. Something that will be painful and will be a lot of work.

Confronting that is hard. Which is why people don’t like to be alone with their thoughts. But the thoughts are there despite the fact that you’ve been ignoring them. The truth is still the truth, even while you’re pretending it’s not.

Once you accept that, this gets easier, you stop running from your thoughts and instead seek them out. You get into the practice of putting yourself in time-out. Even if it’s just ten minutes a day, that’s life-changing. Take ten minutes a day and just sit with your thoughts.

That’s how you receive messages from the universe, how you come up with new ideas, and how you discover more and more about yourself.

Make an effort to prioritize yourself. If you have to, make an appointment with yourself. Block it out on your calendar. Be with yourself. Be important to yourself.

Believe in Magic

Life can be really hard. But you know what? It can be really beautiful too. But you’ll never see that beauty if you don’t believe it exists.

If you think the world is full of awful people, every experience you have will be viewed from that lens. If someone buys you a coffee, it’s because they want something from you. If someone holds the door for you, it’s because they’re trying to show off for their new girlfriend.

If you think the world is full of good people, then the free coffee will make you smile. It’ll be a gift that feels nice. Someone holding the door for you will just be a kind gesture. And life will move forward with blessings like that happening to you all the time.

You get to choose how you see the world. You can believe that nothing is magic, nothing is worth getting excited about, or you can choose that it’s all magic. The way the world works, the way things end up okay, the way the sun shines on your face, it’s all magic.

And life is better when you believe in magic, isn’t it? When you see things with a happier lens? Many times in my life people have been annoyed with my happy demeanor. They’ve made comments about it. And I think it’s because they have gotten stuck negatively seeing things, so my way of seeing things feels fake or corny or something.

But I’ll tell you what, it feels really good. I’m not happy all the time. There’s no such thing. But I see life through a lens of magic. Where I believe most people are good and things are going to be okay. And because of that, my life is better, it’s happier than it would otherwise be. So I wouldn’t change it.

If you are more on the negative side, there’s nothing wrong with you. But you can, if you choose, see things a different way. You can believe in magic.

Find a Gypsy

Find people that feel like magic to you. Grams felt like magic to me. She saw life through that magic lens. And it made my life better. No one had modeled that for me before and it changed everything.

She was meant to come into my life. And hopefully, I get to be that example for someone else along the way.

Seek out people like that. I promise they exist. Pay attention to how you feel around people. Do they make you feel tired or energized? Do they make you feel good about yourself or bad?

Spend more time with friends who light you up, and see the world as a beautiful place. It’ll rub off on you.

It makes your days better. And every day adds up. And before you know it you’re having a better life. And that’s worth every corny bit of magic and rainbows that are out there.

You Won’t Master it in a Day

It takes time to become a wisdom warrior. My Grams had over 70 years to hone her wisdom. And she wasn’t some blessed woman who never had hard times.

She had many hard times. And she witnessed many others have their own hard times. All those hard times were gifts though. They taught her and made her into the human she was, the human I loved.

I learned so much from her in her life, and even more in her death.

She had taught us all she could, and then it was time for her to go. On to the next adventure.

She went with grace too. She always talked about how she didn’t want us to be sad. She was going somewhere better than here. She told me to remind everyone to be happy for her when she was gone. She was amazing even in her passing.

Life is all about learning lessons and experiencing life. Find your own wisdom, zoom out and see the lessons. Believe in magic and the goodness of others. Let go of the bad stuff and move forward. Love yourself.

Not even a brilliant blog post about gypsies will teach you everything you need to know. You’re the only one that has the power to change your life. No one is coming to save you.

But you can save yourself. You can change your whole life if you want to. If you start listening to those messages from the universe. Go where you’re called.

The bottom line is this, life is never too dark to turn on a light. Find your own gypsies and seek out things that bring you joy. Life can be so beautiful, if only you let it.